Thursday, 25 September 2014

A Place for Positivity

There is no pill that makes everything better.

Even the medication you can get to help don't magically make the world fill with hearts, flowers, glitter and hope.

For many hope is something that we strive for. A choice to be positive has to be made on a daily basis. Often many times during the day.

Each time a negative thought crosses your mind, or your internal monologue turns to a dark subject. Survivors have to pick themselves up, remind themselves of the good times and choose the light over the dark.

I know that I can second guess something and make it much bigger than it actually is, or even could be, in a matter of moments. I can get to the point where I start to feel palpitations and shaky. That can be the effect of 'just' one thought. 

Now imagine if you have those feelings constantly. They become all consuming. Until there is no good sounds left inside your head. All of them are in your voice or the voice of someone who once said something bad. 

This is the start of a problem. However, if you can feel the moments as they rise it is possible to slow them down. 

Just because someone is smiling, doesn't make them happy. Just because they laugh it doesn't mean that they are cured.

What we are doing is faking it until with make it. Trying to find joy in the small things. It is hard to not get bogged down in the minutia. To look at those around you and feel that they have the secret that you are looking for. 

The modern era with the connectivity on the internet has made the world smaller, but also heightened the feeling of being alone and inferiority. 

A scroll through your facebook timeline will bring you face to status with people who appear to have it all, living life as if every day is their last. Checking goals off their bucket list. 

What you don't see is how they felt at breakfast as they left their children in bed so that they could go to work and earn the money to pay for their next adventure. Or the worry of another about where the next pound is coming from to pay for their rent. People on the whole only put the camera worthy moments on Facebook.

Instagram is another prime example of that. Every shot on there is thought about and mostly planned, filtered and now often photoshopped as well. It is a site full of kodak moments. 

As long as you are able to be true to yourself and take most of what you can read online with a pinch of salt you are generally on the right road. 

I am honest on here, however I don't share everything about my life. 

Personally I didn't start to make progress with my own happiness until I cut out the people who brought me down. It had to be a definate decision. I won't lie and say it was easy, because it wasn't. But on a whole everything feels so much better without them in constant contact. I have almost got to the point where I don't think about them and what they think about me at all. 

A lot of my own problems stem from needing to know what people think of me. I would like to be a people pleaser, something in the way I was raised makes me want to be all things to everyone. I find it hard to accept that I have limitations. I don't like to have a limit. 

This is why there are so many facets in What BeeBee Did... just one topic would bore me. I have so much more to me that just one subject. I have a brain that jumps from one subject to another, and frequently. Concentration doesn't come easily to me, neither does original creativity. However, I can leap from one person's idea to another, to a spark that will either get me all excited and unnecessary on will wind up as a post on here. 

I want to keep things positive on here, which will lead to some flippant posts and other slightly deeper ones. 

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