Perfectly Imperfect

There is only one problem with working in an industry where you are expected to be perfect. In fact you are not expected to be, it is demanded of you. Being perfect at what you do is your actual job. So when you dip, or make an error it is flagged at just how not perfect and human you are.

Day-to-day life feels like it should be perfect.

I am in no way perfect, and I'm not even sure that I want to be. I find a lot of the fun in life comes from the moments that weren't planned. Escalate from happy accidents. 

In the same way that we are almost expected to be cookie cutter shapes of each other. Yet in the baking we are all subtly different. In some cases the differences aren't that subtle. 

On a whole I am very happy in who I am. I have looked worse, yet this year I have decided to make a concerted effort with my health. I'm not getting any younger, and over the course of November and December I let myself get horribly run down. To the point where I was developing sores on my face and body that were just not healing at a normal speed. 

I also know I can only put off dealing with my previous blood pressure issues for so long. 

Yet part of me worries about what the rest of the Plus-Size blogger community will think about this. Am I letting down the 'sisterhood'. 

Well no. 

If my journey takes me away from being plus-sized I'll be very surprised. Also, my size isn't the prime focus of my blog. It is part of it, but not all of it. 

I can be vain, and I can't say that being able to fit in clothes from more shops isn't abhorrent to me.  Say being a size 22 as opposed to the size 30/32 I am now will literally open more avenues for me. More clothes to wear, from more outlets. Not to mention high heeled shoes. The pain that occurs from forcing your body weight though your off kilter feet and ankles is pretty much ridiculous and makes movement almost impossible. 

I am currently feeling very down. Circumstances at home and at work have changed a lot. I have found myself peering into the bottom of a biscuit barrel wondering how I ate them all. Finding time to fit everything I want to do in has been hard. 

I have still not found the solution to wanting it all, getting it all or even managing to balance what I have already got effectively. 

What I do know is, as long as I am trying my best. That is good enough. I can do no more, but I sure as hell could do a whole lot less, but I don't. I should. But I don't. 

All of us are Perfectly Imperfect. Perfect doesn't exist. It's an ideal held up there, on a pedestal just out of reach from our mortal hands. 

Office Life

Not my office (although v similar to an office from my past)

Like most people these days I work in an office.

An open-plan office at that. At last count my floor had 140 staff squirrelled away, covering 3 business outlets and 4 departments. All of us are part of the same umbrella multi-media corporation.

Doesn't that just make it sound like I'm Miss Fancy-pants.

However, reality and the perceived nature of my day-to-day working life don't always tally up. Hence, I don't really talk about it and spend a lot of my day in cloud cuckooland rather than deal with the office politics that are always simmering just below the waterline.

What does happen, is that your team become like a little family. I'm not saying that everyone will love each other, far from it in many cases, but you do learn how to get on with things and leave them to their own devices.

Many business leaders, including Richard Branson, believe that treating staff like a family is advantageous. There is something to be said when a manager can walk the walk and not just talk the talk.

Before falling into the job I have now, I previously worked as a professional temp. I ran myself as a business temping up and down the country. I worked in various industries for  five years until I worked out what I actually wanted to do with my life... I'm not fully there yet, but I rather like what I do at the minute.

I worked for companies who deemed I wasn't northern enough when I answered the phone - strangely I didn't stay there long. I've been the main bottle washer and pot collector as an office junior. Literally counting the washers in a jar. I've processed sex offender reports and logged police evidence. I have even turned my hand to bar work and making flash cocktails for an American restaurant chain. At some point in my working life I have done pretty much everything a person could in an office.

What has stuck out for me is how teams work. It's like a complicated jigsaw, balancing a team that can work well together is an operation in personality tweaking. Generally the more a team has the flexibility to make their own decisions and have fun while doing the work the more likely they are to gel, and when their backs are against the wall more likely to be able to turn things around with minimal fuss.

Sadly in an open plan office these ideals are hard to uphold. One person's light-hearted frivolity is another person's headache inducing nightmare. Or a phone call that might get a bit heated can be heard across the office. Hands up if that has ever happened to you.

It's not the most interesting life in the world, not that much happens there that is of interest to the outside world, but my word I wouldn't change it. I work with some berks and others that keep their true selves so far buried you'd fear they'd never come up for air. My team is a mixed bag of folk, and for the most part we are each as geeky as the next and pedants at their very worst. 

More office life posts will more than likely appear over the course of the next year here on What BeeBee Did... mainly as I do office life an awful lot right now. 

Back to Work

Oh what a glorious break I've just had for Christmas. 

And oh what a glorious return to work, a lovely break from the children!

Things that come to mind for me in January is starting the year off right. 

This year my post-Christmas return to the office was on December 30th for phone cover, and then fully back on January 2nd. 

Part of my plan for going back into the office was preparation. 

What to wear, my plan for 2015 is to give myself a uniform of sorts. Mornings are much simpler when you don't have to get in a fight with your wardrobe. 

Personally I'm a fan of the shirt and trouser look, and then graduating to a skirt if the weather allows during Spring/Summer. Saying that my office and it's variable air conditioning does mean it can feel like Club Tropicana when you're living in an Ice Palace, or visa versa. 

In my office I keep an emergency cardigan for those I didn't bet on that moments. 

Another thing I like to plan in advance are meals. 

I am often in the office over at least two meal times, and on the odd occasion three. Not good, but often unavoidable. 

This is where a bit of forethought is advisable. Packed lunches are key for keeping costs down, although on treat Friday Featherstone's Butchers in Howden is simply the best! 

I tend to have a stash of meals in the freezer ranging from Dahls and curries to Chow Meins and Stews. I like to cook a batch of something on a weekend, portion it up and then freeze it for work. 

On an early shift more often than not I'll arrive at the office with a coffee in my hand and porridge in my food flask. I tend not to eat before leaving home on an early shift. Also, if I didn't bring breakfast with me the urge to go to McDonald's drive thru would be all consuming... Oh those Hot Mocha drinks!

Another bonus to eating well at work, is the not having to be so good when I'm home. I don't spend much time in the house during term time. Between Brownies, Scouting commitments (either ferrying or volunteering) and Avon bits and bobs, I'm a busy little bee. I'm lucky that most evenings there is a meal for me made by the husband. From a jar, but it's a meal nonetheless. For this I am grateful. 

Generally I get a 30 minute lunch break. This time I am planning to actually take them and leave the office so I can go for a walk. I am lucky enough to work in an amazingly beautiful town. Just a few minutes from my office is a wonderful park, a couple of historical landmarks too. I'm a lucky bean. Now to take full advantage of them. 

How do you prepare to go back to work?